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  • ROIE: I’m finally ready to have a serious relationship, what advice can you give me?

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     Q: I’m finally ready to have a serious relationship, what advice can you give me?


    twitter icon  “Don’t try to push the river, flow with it”

    A: One of the things that I believe a lot of people do when ready to start a relationship is to go too fast.  We all want to love and be loved and that desire can cloud perspective and allow us to pursue a dream rather then actual feelings.  When we are attracted to someone, the tendency especially these days when everything is so immediate, is to move forward to a desired outcome without seeing the obvious in front of our eyes.

    The most important aspect of a good relationship is friendship.  Often friendship develops over time.  So my best advice is to take your time and allow the relationship to grow organically.  A great saying I’ve read is “Don’t push the river”.  Let the feelings come up within you rather then trying to make them happen too quickly.  When we take our time, we can stay aware and able to see the “red flags” (those things that we know instinctively are not in harmony with who we are or what we believe).  If we do become aware of these “red flags”, its important to check in with ourselves and ask those difficult questions, such as, “do I trust this person?”, “does this situation represent who this person truly is, and if so, do I really want to pursue this relationship?” or “Do we bring out the best or worst in each other?”   When we are caught up in the emotions of the relationship, these questions are often too challenging and we ignore what we know, in out hearts to be true.  This can lead to some harsh realities and heartache.

    When we do find someone who fills our hearts and the feelings are mutual, and the red flags are not serious, we can move slowly to a deeper connection.  Communication is a sound basis for keeping any relationship current and without it, the relationship may last, but will be less then fulfilling.  Honesty, respect and trust are also essential in any long term relationship, with ourselves as well as the other person.

    Remember move slowly, allow friendship to develop, stay awake and enjoy the delight of a happy, exciting relationship.

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    Each week Spiritual Leader, Roie Lattimer, will be offering answers to your questions. She has an unbelievable gift for sharing the messages that you need to hear!

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